


Something doesn't add up

by UselessLesbianLaughter



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Crack, F/F, Ficlet, Humor, Oneshot, Short, Snippet, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 08:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14891447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessLesbianLaughter/pseuds/UselessLesbianLaughter
Summary: Based on the prompt that's been circulating Tumblr for a while.Person A: Why are you naked?Person B: Uh, I don't have any clothes.Person A: That's ridiculous, you have these jeans, this shirt, oh hi Person C, this dress...Made some alterations. Snow is Very Clueless about The GayTM.





	Something doesn't add up

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy.

"Stay back, Emma."  
  
Emma did as Snow told her, though for reasons way different from the ones her mother had in her mind. Maybe she could come up with an excuse in the next few seconds, she could fling herself in front of the closet and claim she's better equipped to handle whatever is behin- and she was too late, Mary Margareth had opened the door.  
  
Regina Mills did not blush, ever. If anything her face was taking a red-ish hue from anger as she struggled to find some way to explain things. Her hand was over her chest and one of Emma's dresses was pulled over her crotch as a curtain so thankfully she wasn't /completely/ naked.  
  
"Regina. Care to explain what you're doing in my daughter's closet with," Snow coughed uncomfortably, "no clothes?"  
  
"I," Regina looked around desperately, as if some pair of jeans were about to whisper her the correct words, "I, uh, I don't have any clothes?"   
  
There it was, the stupidest thing she'd said in years. In her defence, the situation was stacked against her.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Regina was just teaching me this," Emma said.  
  
"Potion." Regina finished for her.  
  
"Yes! Potion. And I messed it up, you know how I am with potions," Emma completely botched a fake laugh, "so it went very wrong and uh, tha-aat happened and I offered to borrow Regina some of my clothes. And that's why she was in the closet."  
  
"Yes, that's exactly what happened. I believe we can all go home now and forget this ever happened," Regina said.  
  
Snow stared at them both with apparent suspicion for a while. Finally though she smiled and nodded.  
  
"Oh, well that makes sense," she said calmly, heading out. Emma and Regina were just about ready to collectively sigh in relief when Snow noticed something and walked back to Emma, then past her to the side of her bed, all the while mumbling "You really shouldn't leave your clothes on the floor like this, Emma. They'll get wrinkly and-" she stopped mid-sentence, having picked up the silky blouse, staring at it.   
  
"This isn't yours," she said under her breath.  
  
"Oh, uh, yes it is! I've been trying to change up my wardrobe, dress for success, you know? How do you like it?" Emma rushed to the rescue.  
  
"Oh," Mary Margaret simply said, pausing to stare at the blouse. The tension in the air was enough to cut with a knife. Regina was genuinely holding her breath without even noticing. The silence dragged out for a while. "Well, alright then," Snow put the blouse on the bed, "if it makes you happy." She shrugged and finally walked out of the room, and even the front door.   
  
Regina didn't dare to breathe again until she was out on the street.   
  
"You know, I never thought there'd come a day I'd be so grateful for your mother being an idiot," Regina muttered.  
  
"Yeah," Emma nodded, still breathless, "me too."  
  
Silence ruled the room for just a few more moments.  
  
"So... where were we?" The tease was back in Regina's voice and, in a strange way, relieving. The tension eased from Emma's shoulders as she walked back over to her queen, hips swaying. She flung her arms around Regina's neck with ease and leaned close to her ear.  
  
"I don't know... Remind me," she murmured, sending an electric shiver down Regina's back.  
  
Emma bit her lip and brought her hands down to Regina's waist. And, as she did, the front door burst open and stomping footsteps were approaching quickly.  
  
Before Emma nor Regina had time to say anything, Mary Margareth's voice rang across the room, full of accusation.  
  
"YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY DAUGHTER!"

**Author's Note:**

> Probably got the characterization a bit wrong because I haven't watched the show in a while. Still, hope you enjoyed, hope it was funny. Sorry for not posting anything for a year and then showing up with a oneshot. You might already know about the feedback vampire thing so leave a comment, darlings.


End file.
